


The Snow Queen

by fukmylyf (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck, Sneedronningen | The Snow Queen - Hans Christian Andersen
Genre: Crossover, F/M, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE, This is really just kinda random
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-06 00:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/fukmylyf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Snow Queen with Homestuck Characters</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time, there was this really evil mirror. Everything that was seen through it was ugly and mean. If you were already ugly and mean you just looked uglier and meaner. So yeah.

Also, there was this evil kinda mischievous sprite dude with super curly hair and he was called Gamzee. And so this Gamzee dude, who was always high as shit, took this mirror so he could see everybody else’s ugliness and make fun of them, because why not.

But one day, because Gamzee was tripping high, he decided to fly off with the mirror. He was pretty klutz-y though, and he dropped it. The mirror shattered into a million pieces. When these pieces pierced the heart, they made that person’s heart cold as ice. And if it got in the eye, then they saw everything ugly and hideous and evil and stuff.


	2. Chapter 2

So also there were these two kids, Karkat and Jade. They’d been neighbours since forever, so they were pretty close. Karkat had a massive crush on Jade though he’d never admit it. She was the only person he ever smiled around, and the only one who knew that he didn’t actually hate everything and everyone.

They used to sit in Jade’s house, with Crabdad’s screaming still resounding in the background noise. Grandpa Harley would tell them stories about his adventures, Karkat listening intently, Jade half-snoozing in his lap.

Jade and Karkat had windows right opposite each other and Karkat helped Jade build a small garden on her window ledge. Sadly, the only things that would grow there were pumpkins. So they had a pumpkin patch, like, three stories above the ground. Totally normal.

So one day passed as usual, Jade and Karkat chatting through the window.

“Good night, fuckass!” Jade called, closing her window.

“’Night shitface,” Karkat returned.

He closed his window, but sat by the window a while. Jade waved at him excitedly through the slightly frosted glass and he smiled and waved back. She drew the curtain and began to change. Karkat averted his eyes to the snowflakes softly drifting onto Jade’s bright orange pumpkins.

He watched with mild surprise as one of them grew larger, and his surprise grew to fear as he saw it transform into a woman. He yelped, burying his head in his knees covering his head with his hands.

The next morning, Karkat went out with Jade. They strolled around town awhile, like usual.

“Look! It snowed!”

“No, really. I thought someone just spilled white paint over every fucking thing.”

“Don’t be such an asshole! Come on, let’s build a snowman!”

“How are you so excited,” Karkat sighed, but he let Jade drag him off.

He bent over to start piling snow when he felt a stabbing pain in his chest. He dropped to his knees, clutching his stomach in pain.

“Karkat! Oh my god, are you ok?”

“Y-yeah, fine…”

Karkat loosened his grip around his middle, the pain dissipating. As soon as it was a dull throb, his eyes started aching as well.

“Shit! I think I got something in my eye,” Karkat mumbled, rubbing furiously at his eyes. Jade sat in front of him and lifted his chin so he was looking at her.

“Open your eye,” she said. Karkat did as he was told. Jade blew into it, causing an eruption of swears on Karkat’s part.

“What the fuck was that for?” he screeched, blinking furiously.

“Is it out?”

“Uh… I guess.”

“You’re welcome.” Jade got up, straightening her skirt. Karkat stuck his tongue out at her, glowering. He felt unusually cold towards Jade, and was confused as to why she all of a sudden looked so ugly! He glared at the snow instead. It was flawless, if it didn’t melt. He threw a snowball at Jade and got up and left.

He didn’t bother seeing her for the rest of the week. Instead, he avoided her, spending as much time away from her as possible. He stopped going to her house, stopped talking through the window. He gouged out hideous pieces from the pumpkins on her windowsill, marking little insults all over the originally smooth surface.

He began to hang out with the boys in the town. Originally, he’d avoided them because they were always assholes to him, but Jade didn’t like them too much, so he figured it was perfect.

“Hi Karkat!” John said, smiling. He seemed happy no matter what everyone else’s demeanour was. Which was probably good, since he hung out around a grumpy troll and an emotionless boy.

Dave grunted at Karkat, who returned the favour. They’d started playing a game where they’d attach their sleighs to the back of passing vehicles, because they lived in a weird-ass town where there were cars and sleds and horse-driven carriages and everything.

So Karkat was hanging with Dave and John, yelling insults at them as whatever he’d managed to latch on to was passed by whatever Dave and John managed to latch on to.

He had the worst luck.

One day, he latched onto something actually quick though. It was a snow-white sleigh, pulled by some really pretty reindeer. The reindeer were being whipped by this really pretty troll lady, who was wearing a blue dress. She had really messy black hair that fell in waves off her back, and into the sleigh, and then even slightly out of it. Karkat was completely stricken with how pretty she was, completely unable to find a fault in her.

He didn’t notice as he left the town. Nor did he notice when they entered the woods. He only really registered where he was when the sleigh stopped. The lady stepped out. She was wearing bright fuchsia heels that totally clashed with her dress. It was kinda ugly but Karkat didn’t notice. He was kind of staring into her face and being obsessed.

The lady beckoned to him and he approached her.

“Who are you?” he said, his super cute kinda raspy voice ringing out in the snow covered clearing.

“The Condesce. Well, no, kay, most of y’all know me as that beach the snow queen. Whatevs man, I really can’t be bothered with that shit anymore.”

~~The Condesce had a terrible voice that broke Karkat out of his stupor. The end.~~

~~The Condesce’s voice was really loud, and condescending.~~

~~The author could not think of another adjective.~~

She beckoned him again, and Karkat stumbled towards her.

“Huh, a mutant. Goddamnit why the fuck are you so hot? Fuck, my fingers!”

Karkat backed away from her, a bit scared. She sighed audibly, beckoning again. Karkat sat beside her.

“Are you cold buoy?”

Karkat nodded. She kissed the top of his head, right between his horns, and he didn’t feel cold anymore. She kissed him again, and he forgot about everything, John, Dave and saddest of all, Jade.

And then she rode off again.

**Author's Note:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS


End file.
